So...how about the weather?

*rolls eyes*

I just haven't been feeling well lately...think its due to f*ing messed up sleep schedule. I am also trying to work on my anger issues, and my yelling. I still say it isn't yelling, but talking loudly, but, eh. It can't hurt.

Seems like that was actually his wife I was on IM with. OOOPS!

We are finally getting some cold weather...its about damn time, but I hate it when there's no transition period.

Anxiety and knitting

ARRRRRGH!!!

I am dealing with my anxiety issues that plague me from time to time. They annoy me and frustrate me to no end. I know my fears are totally unfounded, but I am (mentally) helpless at changing them. I refuse to use booze to conquer my fear; if I am to conquer it, I need to do so of my own strength and will. I can do it, I have done it before. I have a mental switch that just needs to be flipped into the ON position. Just to find that switch...

In knitting news, Frankenknit 2-Electric Boogaloo is coming along swimmingly. *just probably jinxed it to failure by that statement* *sigh*

*yawns*

This is driving me nuts. I have been so tired lately...anyway. Yesterday right before I fell asleep, I was patting him on the shoulder, and went to sleep with my hand there. I woke up, my hand was still on his shoulder. That was nice. Finally, I'm beginning to relax and not feel like he's going to hop up and run away for another 6 months...wasn't pleased with Night however. Bastard.

Never work on my paranoia.

(watch, my two days off? I'm not going to be able to sleep)

Also with Frankenknit 2- electric boogaloo? I've noticed something that drives me crazy. I swear it looks like every other row I am perling...wtf?

*starting to relax*

Have decided to pick up the knitting again. YAY. I'm starting to feel more comfortable that the errant bf, is no longer errant.

I told him today that if he wants to start some more knitting, since he left his in Texas, he's more than welcomed to help himself to my supply of yarn and needles. I'm also starting to feel more comfortable around him, now that I know he's not going anywhere, anytime soon.

plus? there's nothing sweeter than being awake during cool fall nights.

OMG, LIKE BFF!!! <3

So. He's here again. YAY!

It was great. He steps off the bus, and guess what? We matched. Clotheswise. TOTALLY UNPLANNED.

The ensemble? Khaki Corduroy pants, black tshirt, black shoes.

I was vaguely amused. I told him..."I swear, it's like I called you and said, 'omg! what are you wearing? let's totally coordinate!!'"

He replied that his socks didn't have little pink hearts, and I mentioned I was missing the baseball hat.

We've always had this wheird mental connection going on from day 1, 7 years ago. 8 years ago?

whee. court.

So. Court. Yeah about that.

I wanted to pull my hair out. I cried. I just want a divorce. That's all. According to one of the women who work in the Clerk of Courts office, I need just one little paper. The damn thing could have been signed off on yesterday, except for this ONE PAPER, that my attorney, Frito Pendejo needs to give me. Rita told me to call him, and tell him RITA said to give me the paper.


Frito has not returned my call. If it comes down to it, I might have to borrow the money from k. to pay for this.

I just want this 20 year debacle to END.

on the advice of my attorney, frito pendejo....

At home with the vodka. Yep. Monday morning after work? Going to court to file my divorce papers. I just want to end this stupid 20 year travesty.

such confusion.

I am just tired and disoriented tonight.

I got to work, fell asleep with a sofa cushion on top of me for a lightblock/blanket while watching Adult Swim, woke up to a text from my friend Gerald, and thought...

where the hell am i? what the hell day is it? where in the hell is that noise coming from? OH SHIT! DID I MISS WORK??!!!


Yeah.

Huzzah for my two off days!